A couple comments on my last post made me feel the need to clarify a couple things. Moreover, it helps me to write everything down. Gets it out of my head so I don't make myself sick over it.
Please do not think I'm convinced that I'm all better now and everything's peachy. I'm happier in myself, sure, but I am nowhere NEAR rehabilitated. I have a lot of things wrong with me-- old, old things that go way back that I've never really allowed myself to come face-to-face with until very, very recently. The atonement of which I speak is not something that I feel I am experiencing right this minute, nor am I absolutely sure I shall ever find it. I just feel the need to stop and reevaluate my life, my actions, and myself, and put myself on a new path to healing. I need to find peace with myself. Start building a foundation to keep myself from making the same mistakes I've made in the past all over again.
I have never done this before. I've never even really asked for help before. It's a learning process. Sarah "on the mend" is going to take a long time, and I'm well aware of it.
Much thanks to those of you who have been supportive, and patient.
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