Up From Here

The season is changing. My alarm goes off and I'm waking up in the dark now, always a little bit chilled. Where did summer go?

I feel almost as though I'm suddenly faced with everything I could possibly want at this moment in my life, and it's overwhelming to experience joy, real joy, after so many weeks of emptiness. I'm spluttering a lot trying to find the words: love, a career, my family close by, my friends reaching their goals. Enough to make your head spin!

I can sense my loved ones near me, and love them in return, and let them go. My grieving process isn't even close to over, but it's nice to not feel angry about it anymore. Like their deaths were something done to me.

Good to read back in my posts and find one recently that ended with, "I can only go up from here." It's still true!