I had a good friend stay with me last night. After kissing my eyebrow goodnight, she curled herself up under my chin and fell asleep breathing onto my collar bone.
Just having that warmth, the feeling of a body inhaling and exhaling on the pillow next to mine... God, I miss that intimacy. I miss the knowledge that there will be someone there when I wake up in the morning.
She and I talked earlier this afternoon about pets. I thought briefly about getting a dog, some little furry thing to wrestle with and care for and take with me on my walks. It would be nice to have a doggy roommate. I never thought I'd ever be this lonely; I was always the social butterfly, never without a friend or partner nearby. It's strange. Much of the time it isn't so bad; I enjoy the quiet to read, or watch movies, or take a bath. I stop at the mall on my way home from school to sit near the ice rink a couple days out of the week, and I watch people interact. I visit people every now and then or have them visit me.
But I still feel as though I've been scooped out, somehow. Like I made a few too many hasty decisions and they left me hollowed... it's the same sensation you get after a shot or two of tequila.
I'm distracted. Foggy.
It was nice to hold someone.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment